Election Fever Hits Royal Eagle Lodge – Part I

What in the hell is dis?

As we told you a few weeks ago this is election season at Prince Hall Lodge. The once famous and now infamous Royal Eagle Lodge’s members are floating around like butterflies buckling the very shoes of the Worshipful Master, Uriel “Da Tief” Johnson as he walks along his tiefing way. This man, who has no shame, is getting geared up to trick his brothers into making him stay on for a third year so he can rob some more of the lodge’s money.

The first big booty he ran off with from Royal Eagle Lodge was worth some $16,000.00 which he was forced to pay back or face jail at Fox Hell Prison where Hairy Marvin lives. How this man get to be the Worshipful Master only the heavenly father knows. Something sweet him in Royal Eagle Lodge though, he doesn’t want to leave the position of power and it can only mean that he sees a loophole in tiefing some more money from the lodge or someone in his Cabinet is working with him.

Da Tief is walking around Prince Hall Lodge proud as a peacock laughing in the face of the Grand Lodge as its members go to his drunken events and orgies. He now has the backing of Greek money so he is really strutting around showing his authority and “charming” the hungry brothers with promises, positions and titles.

Less BP forgets, speaking of positions and titles, reports coming in are telling us that something terrible happened recently during the funeral services of a Royal Eagle Stalwart. It would appear that the hapless secretary of the lodge, Mai Rahming, had the misfortune of hitting the dirt without running. It is being said that right before the Masonic graveyard ceremony of the Royal Eagle Stalwart, Da Tief was seen leaning over and speaking to the hapless secretary in his ear.

One or two brothers heard him telling the secretary that he is going to get another brother to replace him as secretary come election night in December. It is said that the hapless secretary began to laugh sarcastically and rock back and forth but before you could say, “Jim Cook was a Crook” he was laying on his back SPREAD EAGLE, SPRAWLED OUT on the grassy ground begging Jesus to help him.

However Da Tief put the bad news, it was a shock to the system of the hapless secretary who immediately fainted and had to be dragged off to a cool area to catch himself. As the secretary was being fanned back to consciousness the wicked brothers laughed as he kept saying, “Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!”

The other Cabinet officers saw what happened to the secretary and have decided to be “LAY LOW BROWN” in this case and stay out of the Da Tief’s way and avoid being fired. Da Tief and the Secretary have had a tumultuous relationship for a long time so it was Da Tief’s pleasure to carry out the graveyard style firing.

Meanwhile the Dark Horse is still rising in Royal Eagle Lodge waiting patiently for election night in December. While all the concentration is on Da Tief, the Dark Horse is making his rounds, rallying up his soldiers to go to battle.

BP wishes to advise its readers that at the end of this election series we will present a photo spread showing exactly what the Royal Eagle Cabinet (old and new) and its friends and sweethearts are like. “BP investigates”.

We Report! Yinna Decide in December!