No Relief for the Hill Thrillers – ZNS Server Still Down and Staff Still Unpaid

ZNS News Set

Nassau – The Chairman of Dead End Mess is refusing to pay the $50,000.00 ransom to hackers who have taken control of the computer system at the Corporation.

For two long days now in a row, ZNS has not been able to function because of the hacking and instead of giving the hackers what they want to return to normal functions, the Dead End Mess Chairman Mike Smith has refused to pay the money.

B.P. went deep into the hallways of ZNS and discovered that not only are the hackers not paid but the staff still has not been paid either. 

A meeting was held today at Dead End Mess and all staff were asked to attend. At that meeting, the Chairman began to cry like an alligator when he started to tell the staff that they would not be paid and some of their benefits were going to be taken away from them as well. First thing came to mind was: Is this another Government Shutdown?

This is all to cut cost and complete payments on a party that the Corporation had for staff in the Christmas. The Hill Thrillers were not too thrilled about the chairman’s words or tears, and left the area cussing and vowing not to come to work on Wednesday. 

The Chairman told the Hill Thrillers that the police were dealing with the matter and called Scotland Yard to help them. BP has contacts all over the world and when we checked, police started to laugh at our questions.

We have learned that after local police officers, who deal with cyber crimes, discovered that the hackers got in through a port created by someone in the IT Department, who was logged in to a popular porn hub to watch dirty things on the internet, they dropped the case like hot pancakes and returned to playing dominoes like what they do all day. Now these incidents are not new up at the BCB – one time someone left a used condom in the backseat of the corporation’s vehicle [but we digress].

We could only guess someone was getting a thrill!! What in da hell is dis?
BP is keeping an eagle eye on the situation at ZNS and will keep our readers on the cutting edge.

While ZNS is down and running old stories, tune in to BP and Eye Witness News, the only two real media sources that seems to be doing something to inform the public. 

And we ga help ZNS again – Question the persons who set up the IT system at the BCB and look even closer at the individuals who manage and maintain the servers. And stop rowing and negotiating with terrorists Mike! What wrong with yall!

We report! Yinner decide!!