Young clergyman on family island in lockdown with school teacher aka cougar!


NASSAU| A young member of the clergy with milk still around his mouth is now caught up in the sheets with an old cougar who could be his grandmother.

Bahamas Press is following the newly ordained minister, who has taken weakness for an old broad in the church. The “cougar” always had a special appetite for children – she is employed with the Ministry of Education and works inside the church school every Sunday in a senior post.

News has hit BP like a lightning bolt that the couple (clergyman and cougar) is set to marry despite the fact that the cougar has a daughter the same age as the young minister.

BP, with eyes as clear focused as Elijah, spotted the couple on a remote island in the Northern Bahamas trying to make a baby before the marriage could be blessed by the Bishop. What in the hell this?

The cougar loves the dirt the young clergyman walks on. Some believe she has put a spell on the preacher. So far that the cougar has abandoned her church classes some Sundays to travel wherever in the islands the young clergyman is to conduct services. 

Family Islanders have contacted BP on the matter and we have advised them to take up the matter with the Bishop to which the young clergy is answerable to.

“BP, it is a disgrace what is happening around here. The cougar, I believe, has seduced this young clergyman and I believe, after one night on lockdown with the cougar, the preacher can’t focus anymore on the word. Someone has to deal with this! BP, we are calling on you to shoot the a warning shot across the bow before this gets completely out of hand!”

BP reminds the young clergyman of his oaths into the holy and sacred order to become an exemplar of holy and righteous living. We remind the young clergyman that he has a sacred duty to follow the examples of CHRIST, rejecting satan and all his vices and devices now being deployed on you by the cougar!

We ask the Bishop to rescue the church cub (the clergyman) from the clutches of the cougar. BOY, I TELL YA!

Looks like another preacher is about to go into hiding soon. I mean all these young blooming gals in the church, and grammy dem hot-up fa man! Yall catch COVID, EH? STOP IT!

We report yinner decide!