“Da Crucifier” set to marry “Da Black Widow 2.0” in a June Wedding this year! All hell breaks loose after the last gal gets the news!


Church secretary abruptly resigns after confessing to engaging sin at big Church meeting!

NASSAU| A black widow is about to marry a religious man who has been carrying the cross for more than half a century and is known by BP as “Da Crucifier”.

The setting of this report comes from the ancient holy hill in the Constituency of St. Anne’s where an acolyte for decades – appointed by a late Bishop – has become a fixture deep inside the church but has now been baptized with the flesh. GET THIS:

The widow is a retiree, who has since lost two spouses granting her by name “Da Black Widow 2.0”. One of her two husbands now deceased was mathematician from Europe. A brilliant mind and possessed a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ability to solve problems through the study of math. He discovered his love in the Bahamas and married the bouncing Bahamian beauty; aka “Da Black Widow 2.0”.

“Da Crucifier” on the other hand had been on dry dock for most of his adult life. He, just before this recent relationship, had had a serious love affair with another gal which went nowhere because she had treated him like ashes in the graveyard. But after leaving that her for the “Da Black Widow 2.0” all hell broke loose.

Complaints over the new love affair begin circulating all around the church; in fact, at one point as whispers circulated demands for a wedding also came for ‘Da Crucifier’ to tie the knot.

Some are deeply upset that “Da Crucifier” became withdrawn for service in the church because of his affair with “Da Black Widow 2.0. While others believe the new gal’s “powerful baptizing skills” has caused this long-practicing Christian to abandoned his religion and monk-like practises. But all this concern has now come to an end because the couple has announced their engagement.

Well, just as BP was about to start digging into this report and question deeper into the story, we understand the church’s secretary also abruptly tendered her resignation after admitting that she too – just that like “Da Crucifier”- wasn’t living holy and if he can’t served around the place then she too will vacate her post. [Well what just happened!]. The shocking news erupted inside a big church meeting! Boy, this piece a news gat more plots that a Charles Dickens novel.

We at BP believe the pastor did his job is to preach holiness and maintain a standard for the church to follow! And so we applaud the good shepherd on that HOLY HILL.

But we should be reminded to ‘let the wheat and the tares grow together and at the day of harvest’ let Him do all the separating. And in doing so we ‘ga’ also take a page out of the book of John Chapter 8: 7 where we are all reminded, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone….” How-a sound up in here?!

We say if “Da Crucifier” can serve faithfully for more than half a century he ‘mussy’ could be allowed to carry his cross on that HOLY HILL – if only until the June wedding to “Da Black Widow 2.0”!

We report yinner decide!